Sunday, October 30, 2011

What A Difference 863 Miles Makes!

Mom, dad and I have been watching the weather up north where we're from, and although we do miss some people we certainly don't miss the snow.  Actually, it's mom and dad that don't miss it- I never had to do anything with it.  Dad got sick of shoveling, and mom just plain hates to be cold.  An October storm isn't anything unusual up there, but it's still fun to think about what we don't have to deal with any more. This weekend is a little chilly here, but it's nothing like what's going on in New England at this moment, so I'm posting some shots of what we (okay, mom and dad) love most about living down south.  The beach in the fall is a lot less crowded than in the summertime, and that makes mom and dad very happy.  They'd spend every waking minute by the water if they could.  Of course, that would suck for me since I hate water.  Anyway, not to be mean, but here's to all you folks back home, shoveling, scraping and digging your way out.  Oh- and good luck trick-or-treating in that shit!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Ahh, Mornings

Thanks a lot, dad.  I'd just fallen into a deep, deep sleep.  Dad just got up about 45 minutes ago, and I followed him out to the rocker in the living room where he sits to read.  He finds it amusing that I sit in front of him looking up, as if I need HIS approval to sit on his lap.  I jumped right up and curled myself into a tight ball, then instantly went into sleep/drool mode.  It felt like we'd only just sat down when he sucked the last drop of his first cup of coffee, then picked me up under my arms and set me down on the nicely warmed cushion as he groaned to a standing position.  Dad's lap has been a perfect nap spot for years. 
     This is a sort of self-portrait he did in something called "Paint" on the computer years ago, when my old buddy and "brother" Isaac owned his lap.

     The two of them were almost inseparable.  That's Isaac with the tiger stripes, and that's dad in the really awesome green sweats, looking down while using the mouse with his right hand. 
     Well, dad just refilled my food and water, and needs to get on here, so I'm gonna go annoy mom by climbing up her body and talking her awake.  As much as she needs her sleep I know she'll lovingly turn over so that I can bury myself in the nice warm folds of the comforter on top of her.  She's still asleep, but she won't mind.  She lives for my comfort and happiness.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

A Kind Of Nothing-To-Say Day

Well, not much to say today.  Mom and dad went to the library yesterday for their fix, so that means I won't be spending quite as much time in here for now.  They came home with another stack of books, and even though dad tries to split his time "evenly" between reading and writing, he has a hard time putting a book down once he starts it.
     He's really good at making excuses, and he's a horrible procrastinator (wow, that was a hard word to say, never mind to spell!).  He says he wishes he had more time to spend on both (reading and writing), but life and work have to get in the way.  He and I have to split his early morning quiet time on the computer, something that he doesn't like to do sometimes, especially when he has lots to write.  He says he'd do more of each at night if he could stay awake long enough.  He's told me that he's thought about getting up at 3:30 or so, but then he'd probably fall asleep at work before the end of the day!
     Mom says he's an old fart like me, because he's always falling asleep while they're watching t.v.  I say there's nothing wrong with sleeping. 
     Mom's also concerned that she comes across as a bad person in some of these posts, so let's get it straight right now:  she's the coolest mom in the world, and I wouldn't trade her for anything or anyone.  Especially when she gives me the good food (even though I'm not supposed to be able to tell there's that pepcid shit in there!).  Anyway, dad needs to get on now, so bye.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Let Me Explain

Hmmm, seems a good handful of you feel that my little poo poo boo boo was in retaliation for the the litterbox photo incident.  Well, I have to be honest- it wasn't, since mom's the one who got stuck cleaning up after me.  Dad's the one who's gonna be the target for that one.  First, though, I have to either learn how to use a camera, or pay mom to do it for me.  Either way, I know she'd love to play along.
     I just simply pooped on the floor.  That's it.  I might've just gotten confused, what with the age of my brain and all.  They keep my box extremely clean, and I've used one for many years.  The part that even confuses me is that it was way around the corner and in another room.  Behind a small table.  Near their shoes.  Just a brain fart, I guess.  Thank you all for your support, and yes, mom has forgiven me.  She did pretty much later that day because I'm just so damn loving and cute.  And she's a really nice lady.  I love you, mom.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


THIS JUST IN- orbit has pooped on the floor.  Sources quote his mom as saying she was very, very angry with orbit, and when his dad came home for lunch orbit wasn't allowed to come out from under the bed where he was hiding in embarrassment.  He tried, but was immediately scolded, which sent him scurrying back into hiding.  Though his dad was reportedly sad and wanted to comfort his spoiled little baby, his mom was adamant that he remain under detention and she made it very, very clear that dad was in no way to pamper or coddle orbit.  It wasn't clear at press time whether or not orbit's mom had forgiven him.

Break's Over, Dad

Dad's gone back to work this week.  He was on vacation last week- something he said was more of a sanity break- and I tried oh so many times to get a shot of him in the scary room to pay him back for that picture of me, but I just couldn't get it.  I've let it go.  I'm the bigger person.
     It was nice having him around more than usual.  I got more cuddle time.  As sappy as that sounds, I really enjoy the lounge time on dad.  Hmm, dad's arm is almost as hairy as me!  His week off started with the aforementioned birthday celebration, and went by too fast, he said.  Relaxation and not thinking about work were his goals, and he accomplished both, though mom kept him going with appointments, errands and stuff.  "Gotta keep him active," she said.  "He is getting up there," she whispered (to me). 

Saturday, October 15, 2011

How Would You Like To Be Enclosed With Your Own Stink?!

This is orbit doing his... business.  Even though there isn't too much that bothers him, he was too embarrassed to post this picture for the world to see, but I thought it was hilarious.  Payback's a bitch, I know, and I'm sure he'll find a way to get even.
     He steps into his box, and within a few seconds out pops his head.  Every now and then I'll think it's funny to talk to him while he's taking care of his needs, but he just ignores me, concentrating on the floor in front of the box.  Besides being the greatest pet in the world, he's also extremely entertaining (at times).  He'll be furious with me for this.  I can hear him sharpening his claws as I type.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Dad's 50th

Hooray!  Dad just turned 50!!  Though the day was meant for dad, I got to enjoy (though only briefly because of my very short attention span) some sparkly ribbons from his gifts.  Mom wrapped one big box and one little one, and after dad opened them and he and mom enjoyed champagne and chocolates (sounds cliche, I know, but that's what they did) I took a few swats at the ribbon dangling from the loveseat cushion.  Mom put the box from one of dad's gifts on the floor, knowing I'm the curious type, and they waited to see if I would go into it.
     I checked it out a few times, and every time one of them tried to get my picture while I was in there I'd slip right back out, bored.  Dad got some really cool new toys for work, including something called a Shop Vac, which, when dad plugged it in sounds suspiciously like the thing mom uses to suck up my fur that seems to find its way into every nook and cranny.  Hah!  Nook and cranny- that just sounds funny.  I know, sometimes I can be so juvenile. I hate when I see mom pull that damn thing out.  At my age you'd think I'd be used to stuff, but it still scares me into hiding.  Dad says his new one will stay in his truck.  Whew!  Anyway, after a while mom wanted to clean up the living room, so she flattened the box and put it in the recycling bin.  End of story. 

     Mom got up at an insane hour while dad snored away like a wild boar, and pasted little tiny 50's all over the kitchen wall.  She wanted dad to see them when he went out for his first coffee.  Sometimes dad can be clueless, and he said he didn't see the little 50's right away, but he certainly couldn't miss the cabinets over the coffee maker!  Happy Birthday, you old fart!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Oh, Lets Take Kitty For A Walk, They Said...

Once upon a time there was a cat named orbit who had a mom and dad that thought it would be cool to buy a leash and collar for leisurely strolls outside. After cornering poor kitty (he knew something was up as soon as he  caught a glimpse of the bondage gear) and strapping on the paraphernalia (on him, not themselves) they went outside and cooed like proud parents as orbit wandered a bit through some weeds, sniffing everything he encountered.  Once they tugged the leash to get him to walk out on the pavement this is what he did.  And he stayed there.  That's what he thinks about being restrained!  So there.  Ha ha to you, mom and dad.  You might as well return that shit for a refund. 

Thursday, October 6, 2011


I've been loving this cooler weather these past few days!  Mom and dad are wearing more clothes, and I've been more cuddly with them than ever before.  This extreme comfort, however, comes with heavier-than-usual drooling.  I don't brush my teeth, couldn't if I tried, and mints and mouthwash don't do anything for me.  Mom and dad love it when I curl up on them, but hate what I leave behind.  Sometimes it's just a little spot, but other times I leave a slimy dab of foul-smelling gooze (I made that word up) that has them scrunching up their noses in disgust. 
     Dad said something must've crawled in my mouth and died, but he should talk.  Sometimes when he comes out of the scary room with the white chair it smells like..., oops- better not share too much since he edits these posts.  Sorry dad.  

Saturday, October 1, 2011


Umm, dad just read my last post and made me sit down and correct my goof.  The aforementioned stiff breezes PRECEDED the storm last night.  They did not PROCEED it.  Nobody's perfect.  I'm gonna look over some of his writings and pick out errors.  See how HE feels!  Good night.

Random Stuff

Well, it' been almost a week, and I haven't spewed yet!  I guess that's a good thing.  On an unrelated note I did, however, drop a bomb of sorts on the floor in front of my litterbox... again.  Sorry mom and dad.  I'm glad the weather has turned cooler.  It means they'll be covering up with the blankets, and possibly wearing more clothes, so I'll have all my favorite sleeping places again.  Last night a storm came up suddenly, and the stiff breezes that proceeded it brought something through the windows.  I'm not sure what it was, but boy, did it get my attention!
     I jumped right up on the back of the loveseat and pressed against the screen and just sniffed and sniffed to no end.  And then I lost interest.  Mom and dad are always making fun of me and my attention span.  They laughed at me yesterday because I was walking away from them and, as I do often, suddenly felt the need to wash.  I turned to my side to lick, got off balance, and fell over.  I tried to be cool about it and make them think I planned that move, but I think they knew it wasn't intended, by their laugh.  I just got up quick-like and walked away from them.  Dad laughed the hardest, so I'm going to pay him back when he least expects it by walking in front of him, making him trip.  I've done it before, and I won't hesitate to do it again.  Then we'll see who laughs, big boy!
     Maybe I'll wait a few days, though.  I think dad's not too happy with me this morning because, even though I heard him say something to mom last night about sleeping in today, I woke his ass up at 4:12.  I sat in their doorway talking loudly.  I think I just wanted attention, and I can't tell time.  He'll get over it.