Saturday, June 30, 2012

Is That Bursitis In Your Elbow Or Are You Just Happy To See Me

 Okay, so here's an interesting one.  I'll keep it brief because it's not about me.  The other day at work dad was just moving some boxes, getting ready to do some real work (so he says), when he noticed this growth that appeared out of nowhere protruding from his right
 elbow. After a brief freaking out and a flurry of phone calls and a drawn-out snooze session at the local urgent care it turned out to be bursitis, whatever the hell that is.  I heard him say it looks like  he has a testicle growing out of his elbow.  'course I 
wouldn't know anything about that since some-
one had mine removed many, many years ago!
     Anyway, he's supposed to keep it iced and elevated, and not use it too much (great- an excuse for him to not get anything done).  This is the weekend he's supposed to be building me my window perch, so we'll see how that goes.  Later at night on the day this thing appeared it came back, sprouting out of nowhere, so mom brought him to the emergency room, which gave them a glimpse of humanity at its... most peculiar.  Let's just say that a city emergency room late at night is a great place for some interesting character studies for future stories.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Anyone Know A Good Handyman?

So dad has been talking since we've been back about building me some sort of something or other so that I can sit level with the much-too-narrow window sills and watch what goes on outside.  Well, I'm still waiting.  I did hear him tell mom the other day, however, that he finally got some scrap lumber for whatever it is the genius builder thinks he's gonna slap together for me.  It's currently collecting dust in the back of his truck.  Oh well, baby steps, huh?
     He's a big time procrastinator, so I'm thinking I'll see this contraption of his sometime in the next year or so, if I'm lucky.
     Mom and I secretly share laughs (and frustration, at least on mom's part) about dad's procrastination.  Oh well, nobody's perfect, right? (Except me, of course)

Monday, June 18, 2012

My Dad Card

Talented cat that I am mom   I bought and decorated this fabulous card for dad.  I thought it was fitting, considering how our household operates.  That doesn't really look much like me on the cover, but I think dad got the idea.
 Mom I was feeling creative and crafty, so I personalized the insides, adding mom's my own little special touches to the
empty spaces.  Dad really appre-
ciated the loving embellishments, things mom I wanted dad to know, that come from the bottom of my tiny little heart.  Notice how creative and talented mom is I am, pouring out my heartfelt thoughts to the man  whose life has been enriched by being able to provide me with a comfy, spoiled life.  I mean everything mom I wrote, dad.  Thank you!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Father's Day, Dad

Dear dad-

     Thank you for finding me on that sweltering summer day almost twenty (I forget, exactly) years ago, and taking me into your home.  I was sad that my siblings and I were separated, but we were all fortunate to have been given a chance at life instead of being left out there to bake in that hot sun.

     You have been blessed with many years of companionship, love and entertainment from one of the most interesting felines on the planet, and I know you would do it all over again if given the chance.  I have been so damn funny, cute and demanding, and have taught you just how lucky you are to be at my beck and call every single day of your otherwise miserable-without-an-awesome-cat-like-me existence.
     You and mom have adjusted your lifestyles to accommodate my every whim, and you can't imagine your lives without this handsome, sleek, dark and mysterious little old man by your side/on your lap/between you in bed/in your face, etc., etc., etc.
     Your lives would be nothing without the litter crumbs scattered here and there, the raunchy breath and drool puddles, the occasional freakish out-of-nowhere skittering from room to room at warp speed, and incessant vocalization.  

     Happy Father's Day, dad.  Here's to you.  I love you, and I can't think of anyone else I'd ever want for my dad.  Now get your ass out of that chair so I can have your warm spot.  Go get another coffee, fill my water dish, take a leak.  Something.  Anything.  Bye.

Friday, June 15, 2012

What Are They Saying?

So just what the hell are mom and dad trying to say?  Are they getting more cats?  Do I poop a lot, like enough for several cats?  Do I have multiple personalities?  Not sure what's going on here.  Mom?  Dad? A little information, please! 

Note from mom: I simply like this brand, that's all.  Now calm down!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Cat vs. Book

As I may or may not have previously mentioned mom and dad are avid readers.  As such they love to lay in bed at night and read, which I find quite rude when I want attention.  Last night all I wanted was some loving, but neither one could give me the time of day, so I decided reading must be so damn exciting I thought I'd give it a try.  
     First of all I couldn't even understand what the hell I was looking at.  Secondly, mom kept turning the pages before I could even figure out what was on them, so I just gave up.  At first I tried to block her view, but finally just decided to lay here since I'd gotten comfortable.  Dad had just finished his book and tossed it down on the bed with a disgusted grunt, saying it wasn't that good.  

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Dad Time

Though most days I rarely pay attention I occasionally look forward to dad's return home from work.  The other night he came home and went into the kitchen, where mom was hard at work creating one of her typically awesome dinners (that I don't get any of).  He sat on a stepstool, and I instantly appeared from one of my hiding spots, went into the kitchen, and stood in front of him, purring and rubbing my chin on anything I could find nearby.  He picked me up and I immediately settled in for some loving, hooking my paws into his pants, kneading away.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Hello Neighbor

That's my first floor neighbor down there.  Every now and then I sit atop mom's rocker and watch him come and go.  Sometimes mom and dad find him sleeping on the sidewalk just below our windows, and once they caught a glimpse of him sprawled out on his back in the mulch, hind legs in the air.  They've tried to approach him, but he never lets them get too close.  Sorry the picture's so dark! 

Saturday, June 2, 2012

And Once Again, Cigars All Around

Dad just got word that he is a grandpa... again!  Barely three months into first-time grandpahood he just learned of the arrival of a beautiful baby girl, so now he has one grandson and one granddaughter.
     His (twenty-six year old) little girl had her first child and was resting comfortably with baby Cadence, who weighed in at 8 lbs 7 oz, and came out with a full head of hair, just like dad says he did.  Congratulations, gramps! 
     I've been around so long I can still remember when dad's daughter was just a little thing, running around with all the other kids, laughing and playing with me and the other cats.  My oh my how time flies by!(hey, I made that rhyme)