Thursday, June 30, 2022


 Our hearts are beyond broken.  We walk around this extra empty house like zombies.  The littlest body in our home had the biggest presence, and we don't want to accept that she's gone.  It's hard to write this without her squished in here by my side.  We both break down in tears without warning, especially with all the reminders scattered around.  Her mom is beating herself up with guilt at our having taken that damn vacation.  What few pleasant family visits and activities we did enjoy aside, had we known we'd have so little time with Cleo we'd never have gone away.  The battle between her kidney disease and her anemia alone was too much for her tiny 18-year-old  body to bear.  The final report from MedVet, though realistic, gave us some hope that we might have as much as a couple of weeks with our dear girl.  When we brought her home Monday evening and lifted her from her carrier only to see that she could barely keep her legs under her we knew differently.  She struggled to walk even a few steps on the hardwood floors throughout this place, her weak hind legs sliding out from under her.  We set Carpet padding and drop cloths all over to make it easier for her.  We confined our three selves to one bedroom with food & water, mattress on the floor & her litter box and all the bedding and padding she could want.  By Tuesday morning we knew.  4 Paws Farewell helped her pass peacefully and painlessly that afternoon out on the sun-warmed stone steps where she loved to spend so much time. Dr. Beth picked a red rose from one of our bushes, placing it beside Cleo.  I still move over to one side in this chair as was habit to make room for her when we posted in the early morning hours.  The daily routines with Cleo will likely remain forever in her heartbroken mom's memory.  There are reminders everywhere, and as painful as it is, we want to keep it that way for now.  I'm crying again looking at the photos I'm about to post from her last day with us.  Yesterday morning I woke Cleo's mom, laying beside her and sobbing into her shoulder like a fool.  Today I'll get it out of my system while proofing this post and try to let her sleep.  We miss Cleo terribly and will always wonder if we might've had just a few more years with her.  Rest in Peace, our beautiful, feisty, loving stubborn Tortie Queen.  We can only hope you know that mom and dad tried their best, and we're sorry that you suffered so.  We will never forget you and the years of joy your attitude brought us.  



60 comments:

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

I am so terribly sorry, but words alone cannot convey my heartbreak at this very sad news. I am in tears looking at those last pictures of your beautiful Cleo. I send love and hugs and wish I could do more.

Lynn said...

No words can express the sorrow felt by this loss. It seems so wrong that Cleo could not have had more loving and comfortable years with you both. The photos of Cleo are as always beautiful to see, however sad at the same time. I am sending prayers and wishes of comfort your way.

Eastside Cats said...

Rest in peace, Angel Cleo.
Hugs and purrs to your Mom and Dad.
So, so, so very sorry.

Zoolatry said...

Forever, beautiful Cleo. With much love to both of you, Ann.

Brian said...

We are just heartbroken and we understand the pain and the loss. Love and hugs from all of us. We'll always remember that beautiful Cleo, always.

Sandee said...

Oh no. Big healing hugs for the loss of sweet Cleo. ♥

Cat and DOG Chat With Caren said...

Dear God I just found this out from the Eastside Cats blog. I have been so busy and am so behind reading blog posts. I am in shock as I know you both have to be as well. My heart hurts for you both more than you can imagine. Sudden loss is the worst. Just the worst. I know too well about beating myself as well, as hard as it is, please tell your wife to please not do that (while I continue to beat myself up). You both gave Cleo soooo much love and such a wonderful home. You are the epitome of a superb cat daddy. Cleo loved you both so deeply, I thank you for sharing her with us and hope that as time goes on you will continue to share memories of her with all of us. Sending you both so much love and my deepest, most heartfelt sympathy. I am so deeply sorry. That wonderful lady will always be missed. xoxoxo

Mickey's Musings said...

I am so very sorry to see this.
Cleo was such a sweet kitty and will leave a big Cleo shaped hole in your hearts. You gave her a good life and lots of love and that is what a cat needs most .She had a happy life with you so remember that and treasure your memories.
Thank you for sharing her with us. Hugs!!!!

Purrs, Julie and "mum" Nancy

My Mind's Eye said...

Dearest Dad and Mom of Cleo,
Bryan and I are so very very sorry about your precious furry daughter. We understand your emotional roller coaster too. I wish I had the perfect words to comfort you in your sorrow.
Maybe you can take some comfort in knowing this. We were right here at home with Milky-Way who was fine one day and passed out the next day. We were stunned to learn that same day that one side of his heart was not functioning at all.
In my mind's eye, I have visions of our two Old Girls meeting OTRB...carefree, pain free and full of sassiness. Take care of yourselves...sending love and caring thoughts and hugs
Cecilia and Bryan.

The Florida Furkids said...

Fly free beautiful Cleo. we are sorry for your loss. We know how painful it is and are sending you our purrs and prayers.

Ivan and Izzy from WMD said...

I am heartbroken for you both and know no words can lessen your pain. Remember though that Cleo had exactly the right amount of time she needed to be part of your hearts, and even though it may not have been enough, love is always enough. Purrs from all of us.

Gidget Blue Sky said...

mums tears have joined yours. watch for her in your dreams. they do tell you when it is time. the physical body wears out but the spirit will always be there flying around you. she had a good and happy life with you, you were her people, she will always be with you. she will send you a new baby to love when you are ready.

Wanderingcatstudio said...

My heart is breaking too. I'm so sorry to hear this. But 18 years is a wonderfully long time for a cat to live, and not only that they were 18 good years, because she lived them with you. She left this world the best way possible, in her favourite place, surrounded by the ones she loved.
It doesn't make the pain any less, but know that you gave her the best possible life.

Savannah's Paw Tracks said...

I am heartbroken reading your beautiful memories of your sweet Cleo. My precious heart kitty, Savannah, is being watched everyday as we know her time with us is limited. CKS, IBD are silent cat killers. I hate them. Your girl is so very pretty. Purrs of comfort.

Kea said...

We're so very sorry for Cleo's passing. There are no words that truly can comfort you both in your grief, but please know that many people are sending Light and hugs and purrs. Give your Selves the time and space you need to grieve; peace to you both.

Derry and the biped

ANGEL ABBYGRACE said...

I am deeply deeply sorry for the loss of your beloved Cleo. It seems so inadequate to say that when I fully understand the depth and breathe of the brokeness you feel inside your soul. Grace. Give yourself grace and although it is easy to say for me, all you did, every single thing, was done with honoring your sweet Cleo. Sending you healing peace and deep purrs.

3 kats and a kwiltr said...

Just dropping by to send our love and purrs on the loss of sweet Cleo. She knew she was loved and wanted you all with her when she was called to the Rainbow Bridge.
Mourn, cry, shout...whatever it takes to ease some of the pain and then remember the love you all shared and know she's always in your heart.
Maggie May, Suki (ake Princess Fluffybutt) and their mom, Anna in IL

Tama-Chan, Benny, Vidock, Violette, Ollie, Hotesse & Heloise said...

Oh No! Not the gorgeous, beloved Cleo! We are an ocean away but we are heartbroken and feel your pain. We have all been there but nothing ever makes it easier. And we all beat ourselves up, thinking that perhaps there was that one thing we did not do. But we know you gave her everything anyone could ever hope to have. Cleo was larger than life in that tiny body. Your blog has been a huge favourite of ours and we too are beyond sad that she is gone. Perhaps she will make sure that the emptiness is only temporary. Cats have a way of doing that.

Gentle purrs and woofs, soft neighs and hugs,
Everyone at The Poupounette

Maebeme said...

I'm so very sorry to hear that Cleo has passed. I'm certain she knew that you wanted only to spend a little more time together, and did her best to give you that last evening and morning.

My heart goes out to both of you. The loss of our beloved pets is never easy. May you find some solace in the wonderful memories of this spirited girl.

Eileen

Jacqueline said...

A lovely tribute to your precious girl...My sincere condolences over this major loss in your lives; I understand the pain all too well and have no real words of comfort except love is an energy that never dies and I hope her sweet little soul finds you both again...Wishing you both comfort at this sad time...Fly high beautiful Cleo, RIP...XO...J, Sukki, Rio

The Swiss Cats said...

Oh no, we're heartbroken. We're so, so sorry for the loss of your precious Cleo. Our heart goes to you two. We send you comforting purrs and gentle headbonks. Purrs

Marv, Jo Jo, Komo, Cinnamon & Angel Nellie said...

Losing someone you love is never easy and it is surely the most difficult when you lose a wonderful cat like Cleo. Her passing has left us with a Cleo sized hole in our hearts. We know that after so many struggles and difficulties she has had, she still regaled us of the tales of her adventures with her Peeps. You let her personality shine through. Cleo was was loved, not only for her cuteness, her acerbic wit and how you expressed her sense of humour.

We know that she meant the world to the both of you. And though Cleo is now over the bridge her memories, in your blog are there connecting us with her. Though she is not here with us anymore, her beautiful memories will always keep us connected with her. We not only send condolences on your loss, we also send virtual head bonks, whisker kisses and purrayers. Oh yes, we have asked angel Nellie to show her a good time while they wait. Purrs Marv

Molly the Airedale said...

We are so very sorry. Cleo was a beautiful girl. Hugs to you and your family♥

meowmeowmans said...

I'm literally typing this with tears in my eyes. We're heartbroken over your loss of your beloved Cleo. We have long loved her -- and the special and wonderful bond and love you all share -- from afar. Thank you for loving Cleo so much and so well, and for sharing her with us. We are, without a doubt, better because you did. Please be kind to yourselves, especially in this time of such grief and sorrow. Sending you love, light, and the gentlest of purrs and prayers.

The Island Cats said...

I am so very sorry about the loss of Cleo. Such a beauty...she will be so missed. Sending you both hugs and love...I share your tears. ~the mom Sue

BellaDharma an BellaSita Mum said...

Deer Cleo's Paw Paw an Meowmy...what a glowin tributte to yore wunderfull CLEO!
Wee teery eyed here at THE Purrfect Pad!

BellaSita Mum had a Bluepoint Siamese kitty named Mingflower....shee two lived to bee 18 1/2 yeerss old with Kidney Dissease an Anemia....
sorta THE same scenario.

Wee are so furry sorry. Pleese reememburr that Cleo iss inn Purr Land an shee iss lookin down on youss' with <3 LOVE <3
An youss' were GRATE Kitty Pawentss!
***gentell purrss*** BellaDharma an gentell {{hugss}} BellaSita Mum
THE Purrfect Pad

catladymac said...

We are so sorry to read this...but Cleo certainly knew how much she was loved. Please don't beat yourselves up...she knew it was her time and would hold no grudges. As an animal communicator told me when my 19-year old calico Buddy passed - she was ready to go on to her next adventure.

da tabbies o trout towne said...

Cleo, we are truly heartbroken and cry with mom and dad. We hope your mom and dad know that they did their VERY VERY VERY best for you; every single day and we "understand" where their mind set is right now. We also hope mom and dad know that if you spoke "human" you would say, thanx mom and dad for everything, I love you both too and I always will. We hope they know that Orbit and Grayson met you at heavens gate, we hope they know how much you meant to all of your friends here in blogland and we send hugs and loves to you, mom and dad along with our sincerest sympathies. ♥♥♥♥♥ dai$y, mackerull, dude, sauce, boomer, tuna and the food gurl laura

Greg_1948 in_WA said...

I was very sad to hear the news about Cleo. No words of mine can make the pain go away as they are only words. Cleo had a wonderful life. We shall all miss her.

Katie Isabella said...

I am completely heartbroken with you. I love her. And I know the awful pain of loss you are undergoing right now. The emptiness and loss and silence is overwhelming A mom and dad of a precious dearly, throughly loved family member, are just over swept with the heavy wave of grief and loss. I send my love to the two of you. If I could, and I would give a lot to ease your sadness and loss, I would do it now. But I, as do the others of us in the CB Family, understamd. And I'll be standing with you though it all.
Carole and Katie

Yvonne said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Many hugs to your family.

Summer said...

My heart is breaking for you both. My human and I have grown so attached to your tortie lady. Lots and lots of purrs to you.

Marg said...

So, so sad. It is so hard to lose our fur friends. Sending lots of purrs.

The Whiskeratti said...

Im so sorry to hear of her passing. Always remember that you loved her very much, and she knew that.

The Indulged Furries said...

I am so very sorry for your sudden loss of Cleo.

Melissa, Mudpie and Angel Truffles (Mochas, Mysteries and Meows) said...

I've read this post 3 times today and break down crying every time as though she was my own. I can't express how deeply sorry we are. She was just the most beautiful girl - a tortie in every sense of the word. We will miss seeing her so much. Sending much love to you both.

Kitties Blue said...

Our hearts are breaking along with yours. We have made the mistake of leaving on a vacation and losing our baby while we were away or as soon as we got home. You cannot beat yourself up. Cats have their own timetable. We know how much tortitude these little gals have, and your description of Cleo sitting next to you while you wrote her posts is so familiar. Tortie, Astrid, likes to sit right on top of me blocking the keyboard and purring so loud I can’t think. Sending prayers and hugs and love ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’ž as your grieve. I don’t think the grieving ever ends, but the pain lessens. Sincerely, Janet & Kitties Blue

The J-Cats said...

We are so furry sorry for your loss. Cleo was a beautiful ladycat. May she fly free now, safe in the Paw of the Great Cat in the Sky, in the Land beyond the Rainbow Bridge where, one day, you and she will be together again.

Stephanie said...

My heart goes out to you for the loss of your darling Cleo. What a beautiful sweetheart and dear friend. I know the tears and heartbreak of losing a such beloved friend. What happy wonderful years you gave her and so much love shared; that doesn't go away.

Just Ducky said...

Farewell Sweet Cleo. She will live on in your hearts.

Alasandra, The Cats and Dogs said...

We are so very sorry to hear about Cleo. Mom has a soft spot for Torties and Cleo was such a beautiful girl. We will miss reading about her. Purrs of sympathy and paws of comfort from all of us here at ATCAD

Amber DaWeenie said...

Rest peacefully, sweet girl.

I'm so very sorry for this terrible loss.

♥♥♥♥♥♥

Leah said...

Tears. I'm so sorry to learn of the loss of your Cleo, it is heartbreaking. I know how hard it is when a kitty leaves ... I miss so many. This is a sweet tribute to the love you shared, and I hope you can take comfort in good memories.

Fur Everywhere said...

I am so so sorry to hear about Cleo. You gave her a wonderful life. She KNOWS how much you love her. Don't ever doubt that. She knew love because of both of you. I do believe you will be together again someday. Sending purrs and hugs and love.

Ruby Rose and the Big Little Angels 3 said...

I am so sorry. I lost River 8 days ago, and while I have good stretches, I am in tears too. I hope you have an easier path through grief, but since we grieve the same amount we love, I am afraid we will both feel bad for a long te,

John Bellen said...

I didn't know Cleo well, but I know she was loved and that she loved in return. That love will re-unit all of you one day. Until then, Godspeed, Cleo, and please watch over your family.

Colehaus Cats said...

We are so sorry. Thank you for sharing her with all of us and the world. She knows love because of you and always will. Purrs...

Basil and The B Team ~ BionicBasil ® said...

We are so very sorry that beautiful Cleo has departed for the Rainbow Realm, we send oodles of soft purrs and gentle hugs at this sad time. ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’”๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’”๐ŸŒˆ

Tails Around the Ranch said...

So very sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl. May time soften the sorrows presently found in your heart. Sending tender thoughts of comfort. ๐Ÿ’”

Service Cats U.S. said...

Cleo was sooooooooooo beautifu. We're so sorry fur your loss. We're sending hugs and purrayers.

Luvs ya'

RaenaBelle and Zebby

Meezer's Mews & Terrieristical Woofs said...

I am sorry that you had to give Angel Wings to your most precious Cleo.

I made you a memento, its on our latest blog posting...you can snag it from there, or if you give me your email, I can send it directly to you.

I am here:

ingrid (at) rickmar (dot) net

Just make the needed changes...

I send many hugs to offer a tiny bit off comfort at this very difficult time.

Susan from Bucks County said...

Sending you both healing hugs on the loss of your sweet Cleo.

https://hairballsandhissyfits.com said...

oh my God! I am so so so sorry! I was devastated to hear the news. Cleo looks so much like Amarula and they both have that amazing tortie personality! I can only imagine what you must be going through. Every time i look at Amarula I think of Cleo. You gave her such an amazing life and were so lucky to share each other's lives. I really just don't know what to say. So very sorry.

Little Binky and Granny said...

So deeply sorry of the loss of your purrecious girl๐Ÿ˜ฟFly free beautiful Soul✨ Soft Pawkisses to comfort you all๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜ฝ๐Ÿ’ž

The Oceanside Animals said...

Charlee: "We are very sorry to hear that Cleo has had to go away."
Chaplin: "Run free over the Rainbow Bridge, Cleo, and have yourself a blast chasing butterflies in the endless fields!"
Charlee: "We Hipsters send lots of purrs your way."
Lulu: "And we dogs send tail wags, both fluffy and non-fluffy!"

Smokey_the cat said...

I am so, so sorry. Cleo looked like a great kitty. I know exactly how you feel, it's tough to lose a kitty!

Darla M Sands said...

Oh, no. ~hugs~

da tabbies o trout towne said...

to our gorgeouz tortie gal pal cleo ♥♥♥♥

sending another round of hugs and loves to you, your mom, and your dad.
you are, and always will be loved by all of us here in trout towne, we hope you've met up with grayson and orbit by now and please tell the trouters we
send loves to them as well ♥♥♥

Sadie & Itty said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I loved Cloe. She reminded me so much of my Shellie who I lost 15 years ago at the age of 18. I still miss her. I also lost my Ityy last month. It is never easy to lose a beloved baby. My thoughts are with you both.

Lola The Rescued Cat said...

We're so very sorry we are so late in conveying our condolences. We've been reading blogs from our mom's phone and for some reason have a hard time commenting from there. We are so very sorry for your loss, and we send you loving thoughts and prayers. We always love reading Cleo's posts, and we will miss her dearly. She was a special kitty, that's for sure. Thank you for sharing her with the world.

About This Blog

Created in July 2011 this blog chronicled the everyday life of a well-seasoned house panther named Orbit, who made the move with us from Massachusetts to North Carolina. He was a nearly constant companion for almost 22 years, and ruled our roost until he passed away in December 2014 which hit us like a ton of bricks.
After more than 2 years without a live-in feline friend we found this senior Tortie gal at Orange County Animal Services in Chapel Hill, NC and just couldn't leave without her. Cleo certainly came with an abundance of purrsonalitude, and has staked her claim on our hearts and in our home since day one. It took some long, deep thought, but I decided to pick up where Orbit left off and let Cleo tell her stories. Of course from time to time I'll add some non-Cleo posts, but she'll get over it.