Our hearts are beyond broken.  We walk around this extra empty house like zombies.  The littlest body in our home had the biggest presence, and we don't want to accept that she's gone.  It's hard to write this without her squished in here by my side.  We both break down in tears without warning, especially with all the reminders scattered around.  Her mom is beating herself up with guilt at our having taken that damn vacation.  What few pleasant family visits and activities we did enjoy aside, had we known we'd have so little time with Cleo we'd never have gone away.  The battle between her kidney disease and her anemia alone was too much for her tiny 18-year-old  body to bear.  The final report from MedVet, though realistic, gave us some hope that we might have as much as a couple of weeks with our dear girl.  When we brought her home Monday evening and lifted her from her carrier only to see that she could barely keep her legs under her we knew differently.  She struggled to walk even a few steps on the hardwood floors throughout this place, her weak hind legs sliding out from under her.  We set Carpet padding and drop cloths all over to make it easier for her.  We confined our three selves to one bedroom with food & water, mattress on the floor & her litter box and all the bedding and padding she could want.  By Tuesday morning we knew.  4 Paws Farewell helped her pass peacefully and painlessly that afternoon out on the sun-warmed stone steps where she loved to spend so much time. Dr. Beth picked a red rose from one of our bushes, placing it beside Cleo.  I still move over to one side in this chair as was habit to make room for her when we posted in the early morning hours.  The daily routines with Cleo will likely remain forever in her heartbroken mom's memory.  There are reminders everywhere, and as painful as it is, we want to keep it that way for now.  I'm crying again looking at the photos I'm about to post from her last day with us.  Yesterday morning I woke Cleo's mom, laying beside her and sobbing into her shoulder like a fool.  Today I'll get it out of my system while proofing this post and try to let her sleep.  We miss Cleo terribly and will always wonder if we might've had just a few more years with her.  Rest in Peace, our beautiful, feisty, loving stubborn Tortie Queen.  We can only hope you know that mom and dad tried their best, and we're sorry that you suffered so.  We will never forget you and the years of joy your attitude brought us.  

 Our poor old girl has been in the ICU at MedVet Asheville since this past Saturday morning, where they're doing so much more for her than we were able to here at home.  It's been a rough week for Cleo, and a roller coaster ride for her mom and me.  Her regular vet's most recent report at the end of last week was not good, and even though we had to trust that they were looking out for Cleo's well being we weren't ready to just go along with the direction it seemed they were leaning right then and there. I guess at the very least we wanted to get a second opinion before making the decision we know we're going to have to make sooner or later.  Yesterday evening's progress report from MedVet wasn't too uplifting, and then last night's update, though a little more positive, was only slightly easier to hear.  Like I said, roller coaster...

Our grumbly, don't-touch-me-but-love-me-but-leave-me-alone-but-love-me-dammit old fart was at least resting as comfortably as she could be for the night.  We should be getting an update in the coming hours.  

Post-Vacation Post

 Just a quick one to say "Hey".  I'm not feeling too well right now, and mom and dad are going all crazyhead trying to nurse me back to my pre-vacation health. Even though I was in good hands while they were away, we're thinking the stress of them leaving me started this here old bod on its downward slide. They've been doing their best to get me to eat and drink more, and the most excellent lady team at Cedar Ridge Animal Hospital did their pokin' & proddin' and sent mom and dad home with a bunch of crap to aggravate me juice me up and reignite my appetite. Hope y'all are well, and we'll post an update at some point.  And please, like mom and dad's dagger eyes surely told the lady doctors, we don't want to hear the stuff like "well, she IS 18" and all that crap. . .

Time Off

 So this'll be our last post for a couple weeks.  I know we haven't been posting but once a week or so anyway, but whatever.  Mom and dad are finally getting around to taking a road trip they'd originally planned for April 2020.  But then you know what put a damper on travel plans back then! They've both been busy preparing, especially this past week, dad dilly-dallying at work all day as he does, mom doing, well, everything. 

Last weekend they went for a muddy hike at Graveyard Fields, just off the Blue Ridge Parkway. They trudged their often wet, occasionally rocky way to the upper falls, where they enjoyed the seclusion that comes with starting out early.

As usual, the photo doesn't do it justice.

Here's dad's semi-self-concious selfie with his spunky, spirited sidekick.

You can tell who keeps things lively around here!

And here's me, all alone in this empty house, waiting and wondering to myself "will they ever come back, and why have they forsaken me?" 

And yes, I managed to take my own selfie😋. So anyway, they're hitting the road early tomorrow morning and winding their way north to visit assorted sibs, kids and grands in New England.  Somewhere along the way there or back they also want to drive portions of the Blue Ridge Parkway they haven't yet been on, and Skyline Drive in Virginia.  The lady who takes care of dad's employer's dogs will be stopping by every day to see to my needs and keep me company for a bit, and I'll be sure to rub mom's and dad's faces in how good she treated me while they were off gallivanting and neglecting me. See you in a bit...

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