A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words...

     ...Yeah, if you take a picture, you dumbass!  So since somebody didn't take advantage of a great photo op I'll just have to tell you about it.  Won't be the same though.  Anyway-
     There's a single-bay car wash at this complex, and yesterday the smart one watched as a young couple walked their hefty bulldog across the parking lot, his lowrider bulk shuffling along lazily (the dog's, not dad's).  They proceeded to hose off the gentle canine, who sat in place in the middle of the bay, obviously enjoying the mild jet of spray.  
     The young woman then lathered up the spoiled pooch, who looked rather silly covered with foam, saggy jowls and pointy teeth spared the froth.  Rather smart idea, thought the non-thinking (isn't that an oxymoron or something?) simpleton with the awesome camera in his handy, right-at-his-side phone. 
      Rover sat still as a statue as his slaves sprayed the last of the suds from his now-beautified hide.  What a great post this would make thought the brilliant one.  I swear, if his head wasn't attached...

Stretch and... Zzzzzzzzzzz

    How's this for a bunch of lazy critters?  This is me on dad, doing what I do best. I'd just finished stretching when mom caught this 

 shot of me with my legs still outstretched.  I guess I ended up staying in this position, and went right back to sleep.  Although the lighting isn't that great I thought I'd show my sexy side with this pose.  Once again, I'd been napping in the middle of the floor in the living

room and had to stretch.  I decided I liked this position, so I stayed this way.  
     This is mom and dad doing what they love at the park the other day.  Quite the beak on the old guy, eh? 

Off Go The Explorers Again

     Yesterday mom and dad went exploring again, this time to a place called Pinckney Island National Wildlife Refuge.  They hiked for hours, took lots of pictures, sunned and read in the middle of a field overlooking a mostly-dried-up pond, and got to see, almost up close, a couple of alligators napping in the sun.

     The first one looked fake, almost.  It was shiny and black, and was sunbathing about 10 or 15 feet from a large bird that seemed not to even care about his closeness.  Dad estimated that the alligator was at least 8 feet long, and these shots are the best he could do without getting in the water for a closer look.  The second picture is another one they saw on their way out of the park, and was lounging in only a few inches of water in the middle of a different pond.

   

  A variety of birds bathed and splashed in the water, and some of the tree-lined trails were tunnel-like, with Spanish moss and vines enclosing them as they walked.          

     Parts of the park had a primitive feel.  Thick, ancient tree trunks, knots of vines dangling from limbs and twisting in every direction, Palm fronds waving about- it felt as if they were back in prehistoric times.

They came home pink-faced and worn out, but said they had a great time. I would like to have gone with them, but I'm not much of one for hiking.  Besides, who wants to just look at a bunch of trees, water and birds?  Okay, the birds, maybe, but, oh, nevermind...

TMI Alert

Well, if nothing else mom and dad know they can always count on me for comic relief.  At the risk of sharing too much, I decided I wanted to get in bed with them this morning. I'd fallen asleep out in the living room, but needed some cuddle time. Ordinarily I hop up and, after scouting the best spot settle in to a nice, comfy indentation somewhere, usually on mom.
     I alerted them of my presence quite loudly, as I usually do, then proceeded to jump up on mom's side, and lo and behold (what, exactly does THAT mean, anyway?) the bed was all wiggly and I think mom and dad were having a wrestling match, or a joint seizure or something.

     I heard a muffled giggle, and they continued to ignore me, if you can believe that.  The nerve!  Confused and offended I hopped over them, jumped down to the floor, and went back out to the living room.  Just wait 'til they want some attention from me!

On Dad's Space And Nature's Beauty

     This is dad's little bit of heaven, right here.  A soft chair, a hot coffee, and a good book are what he looks forward to every morning.  I add just the right touch of comfort, when I feel like it.   Here, he lost his place (in the chair, not in the book) when he got up for a refill.  

     On a completely unrelated note, dad took this picture of a luna moth he found lounging on a neighboring deck yesterday.  He thought it was stunning, but his boss couldn't give it the time of day.  Some people just don't see the beauty in things, I guess.


     

Exam Time

     Okay, I told you to pay attention, so here goes:

     Match the descriptive name in the left column with the appropriate person in the right column-



Asshat                                   Dad

Idiot                                       Dad

Jackhole (thanks, Daisy!)     Dad

Dingleberry                           Dad

Servant                                 Dad 

Nincompoop                         Dad

Go ahead and score yourselves.  I already know all the answers.

Dueling Old Farts

     Dad says I'm something called curmudgeonly.  I think he's an asshat, and doesn't know what the hell he's talking about most of the time. 
     I just looked the word up, and I think HE'S the curmudgeon, not me.  I'm right- he doesn't know what he's talking about.  He's watching what I'm writing, and he says there's a place for me up in the balcony sandwiched between Statler and Waldorf, whoever the hell they are. 
     I wish he would just go to work and leave me alone. 
      Mom got him a package of Poppycock yesterday.  Apparently, that's his favorite snack.  He opened it last night while they watched t.v., and although it supposedly contained six servings, he downed it all in one sitting.  Who the hell can really only eat one half-cup portion of caramel-coated popcorn and pecans anyway?  Certainly not dad. 

     Wow!  Curmudgeon, asshat, and Poppycock.  Pay attention, class.  There'll be an exam tomorrow.
    

Happy Valetine's Day

     Not sure what's going on here.  I mean, I know it's Valentine's Day and all that happy horsesh*t, but dad's been up since about 4:30, cutting up heart-shaped confetti and spreading it in a trail on the floor, hanging balloons on the wall and writing on them. I see a bag with something labeled "Hershey's" tucked into it. 
     Seems to me dad's just making a damn mess out here.  All I want is to sit with him, and I'm letting him know that, but he keeps shushing me and telling me not to wake up mom.  What's with you people? 
      Mom's an eternal child, and loves fun, festive stuff.  Yeah, they're romantic, blah blah blah, etc., etc., etc., but if dad hasn't learned anything else from almost six years with her, it's that she loves the fun side of holidays.  Dad does his best, and misses sometimes, but I think he makes her happy.  Of course, she almost always gets stuck cleaning up his messes, but I don't think she minds.  I'm hoping he finishes in time to just sit with me for a while.   Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to all.  Doesn't mean much to me, though.  Stupid people...
 

Some Mom Time

     Since dad found it so funny that I wanted to sit with him the other morning and he couldn't give me the time of day I thought I'd use these pictures to remind him that he isn't my entire universe.  

  See how warm and snuggly mom is?  Don't I look all nice and comfy?  This should make him think long and hard next time he thinks the laptop's more important than orbit!  Ooohh, mom's tummy is nice and soft and warm!  Oh, look how relaxed I am, perched atop mom while she sleeps peacefully.  How's that, big guy?!

    

Pissed And Sulking

     Nothing to say today.  I'm mad.  I just tried to get in dad's lap, but the laptop was apparently more important to him.  Sure, I got lap time while he read two hours ago.  Sure, I got up to eat and have a drink.  So what?!  I want to sit on his lap again... NOW, dammit!  Okay, fine.  I guess sitting here on the side table, staring at him, then climbing over the arm of the rocker, ignoring the laptop and trying to plunk myself half on his tubby gut, half on the keyboard didn't get the message through to him.  He tried to be nice and forcefully "guide" me to his side, sandwiched between his fat belly and the chair arm, but that's not where I wanted to be.  Boy, I hate him right now.  I'm not going to compete with a damn computer.  I guess this stupid beach chair will be just as comfortable.  I didn't really want to sit with him anymore anyway.  Hrmmphh!

     Sorry all- watching him just now, laughing inside at his stares and stubbornness- I couldn't resist.  Of course, he's now out cold, curled up in the chair next to me, snoring and drooling away.  I swear, life would be so boring without him here!

You Gotta Love Us

     I was just browsing through some photos on some of your blogs and had a good laugh at the variety of interesting poses, something our ilk has a knack for.  Dad caught me in my comma position last night (I think I look like a shrimp), and then again, not long after that in my upside-down-twisted-dream-state pose.  My, my- we ARE adorable creatures, aren't we?!

Yeah, That's Nice, But Again, This Is MY Blog

Well, I made it half-way through the blinds. 

Now if I could only get myself through the glass when the sliders are closed I'd be all set. 
     Sometimes, instead of going behind the blinds I poke my head through them.  Guess I'm just lazy. 

My ultimate goal, of course, is to find the best spot after the sun has done its work, and make myself comfortable.  Mom and dad made their best attempt at providing for my comfort, tossing a pillow onto the deck, but, as usual, I do things my own way.  Don't get me wrong- I love the pillow when it's on the stupid beach chair, but once I stepped out onto the warm boards I was drugged, and couldn't go any further.   Now if I could just get the sun to stay in one place...

      As you can see, at least the pillow didn't go unused.  Mom took this shot of dad hanging with me on the deck. 

Downtown Savannah

     So off they go again, this time heading down to Savannah, Georgia to check out the historic downtown district. Apparently they had a great time, with the exception of having to pay $6.00 to park for a couple of hours. Next time they'll look for alternatives.  The well-preserved architecture was amazing, and there were rows and rows of shops, pubs and restaurants to satisfy every shopper and please all palates.  Of course, they were drawn to several sweet shops, which offered up samples of pralines, fudge, and other delights.  Mom was satisfied with a couple of bites, but dad had to try just about one of everything.  They wandered briefly, then on the way out he picked another couple of pieces from the platters that sat atop the glass display cases. 
     Mom says he's worse than a kid in a candy st-... well, you get the picture. 

A Space To Call My Own

     Well THAT was one for Craigslist's "Rants and Raves" section!  Anyway, not much to report today, so here are some shots of me in one of my favorite new hiding spots.  I love these vertical blind things.  There's just enough space between the blinds and the glass for me to hide.
 
     It's my own little private space, and a great place from which I can observe the backyard antics of my critterly neighbors (is that even a word?).  Speaking of the critters, dad told me this morning that he was dreaming about listening to a group of people yelling at each other which morphed, as the sleep-fog cleared from his aging brain, to the sound of the yelping dogs in the lot behind us.  I know- I shouldn't make fun of him.  He thinks it's funny to watch my limbs and head twitch when I'm dreaming. 
     Whatever.
      
    

Everybody Poops, But...

     What's with people?  Where we live there are lots and lots of dogs, and although there are those randomly-placed doggie doo stations everywhere, it seems that some of the people who live around here either don't know how to, or don't care to use them.  Dad stepped in shit the other day while walking around one of the buildings, and he says there are piles, little monuments in varying degrees of decay and texture, all over the place.  
     Is it really that difficult, people?  You want to have the dogs, but you don't feel the need to clean up after them?  It's in the lease, and I've seen the notices, but still, every day there are more and more.  
     Yes, there are those who abide by the rules and do what's right and proper, but there are obviously enough who don't, and it's gross, unsightly, and unhealthy.  Okay, I'm done.  Sorry to go off.

How Time Flies

     Just thought I'd share a little bit to help make dad feel older.  He's gonna be a first-time grandpa in a couple of months, and then again another couple of months after that!  Way to go, you old fart.  Dad's oldest son and his wife are about to have their first child, and his oldest daughter just called him the other day to say that she's expecting a little girl!  In his mind she's still his little girl.  I remember when all the kids were little, and even I can't believe they're having kids of their own now!
     Dad's youngest, and his namesake, will be turning 21 next week, too.  Yikes!  Sorry, mom.  Get ready for some moaning and groaning.  Next up- a cane, one of those seven-day pill things, and AARP membership. I kid.  I've earned the right. Dad's got twelve years on mom, and she and I can't help but rib him now and again about their age difference.

Back To Me

     So all that lighthouse stuff is exciting, but this is MY blog, so I'm gonna redirect things.  While they're out looking for excitement, I'm back here doing my duty.  In other words, relaxing.  When we moved we sold pretty much everything we owned, so for the time being the only furniture we have in the living room is mom's favorite rocker, which goes with us everywhere, and dad's chair- and mine when mom doesn't feel like sharing the rocker.

     This chair isn't really my idea of comfortable, but at least they gave me a pillow (actually, I think the pillow is for dad's back.  The old guy's getting, well, older.)(okay, I should talk.  Whatever.) to curl up on.  It's just a cheap lawn chair dad found, but it does the trick until they pick up some new stuff.  
     

Mom And Dad's Newest Adventures

 Mom and dad had a chance to get out and explore the area recently, and have come across some pretty cool things.  The Chapel of Ease, the ruins of an old church nearby, looks kind of scary. 

 The lighthouse pictures are from Hunting Island, and this is one of South Carolina's only lighthouses that you can actually climb up.  The very top isn't accessible, but mom and dad were able to get all the way up to the observation deck that rings the outside of the structure just below the windows at the top.

Mom said dad freaked when they got to the top and stepped out onto the deck. What a  sissy.   I guess he eventually started breathing again, and walked around the whole thing with her.  Apparently he let go of the railing long

 enough to take some pictures, including this one of the beach and picnic area.  Where we moved to isn't quite as close to a beach as they'd like to be, but it's not a bad drive.

This is a view of the steps in the lighthouse, a dizzying spiral that worms its way to the top, with a small landing at each level.