Saturday, June 24, 2017

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Some Alone Time Coming Up and Father's Day Greetings

Sounds like mom and dad have been making plans for a getaway coming up real soon.  I've heard them talking about Fort Fisher Beach and camping at Carolina Beach State Park. 
     They've also been coming home with sleeping bags, a tent, and some other stuff I think they're gonna bring with them.
     I've overheard dad talking about a co-worker coming to meet me who's gonna be taking care of my needs while they're away as well.  We'll see how THAT goes... 
     Anyway, I got to spend some early morning time next to dad on the bed while he was on the computer one morning.  I generally don't settle in because I usually just want attention and usually have a hard time sitting still, but this one morning I simply felt like relaxing next to the most awesome dad any gal could ever have (and I bet you can't tell which of us typed that).
     Which reminds me-  Happy Father's Day to all you most awesome dads out there.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Sunday Selfie First Timer

Well, I decided to go against my own grain and join this Sunday Selfie thing.  Here's my offering for this awesome, warm, still dark out quiet Sunday morning. Dad was playing with the filter thingies on his phone again like a toddler preoccupied with a cool new toy.  Happy Sunday y'all.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Even Old Gals Need a Little Playtime

Though an older gal I do, from time to time, enjoy some fun activity (even though mom and dad say I'm kinda lazy).  Being plus sized and beyond my spring chicken years I mostly like to lounge, but every now and then I get a spark of energy and try to show mom and dad that I am, in fact, still alive.
Sure, they've provided me with a selection of balls and feathers and even a catnip thingy, but I gotta say- my favorite plaything is... wait for it...
string.  Yup, that's it.  Good old string.  Go figure. Who knew something so simple, so basic could provide such entertainment. 

     They've tied a couple of lengths of twine together and it gets me going when they swing it back and forth in front of me, dangle it over my head and trail it over my back.
Good gosh I don't know what it is, but when I see that thing slithering along the carpet I can't ignore it, though I try.  I swat it, bat at it, grab it in my claws and chew on it. And then I'm done.
And don't get me started on mom's flip flops...
I'll lose interest almost as quickly as I attack it.  Until next time.  They always make fun of me because, though I start out chasing it I most often plop my big 'ole fanny down and kinda slide along the floor, pushing my heft (can you tell dad's typing this?) along the floor with my legs.  I'll stretch out full length to get at it before I'll actually get up to go after it.

     So the other night we were all three of us sitting in that awesome non-man-cave theater chair watching a movie. 
Mom likes her gum, and she'd dropped a wrapper in one of the cup holders.  Well, being of the curious sort I couldn't help but investigate, and fished around in the cup holder and wouldn't you know, hooked that damned thing right out with my claw!

     My, how those two laughed and clapped.  Good Lord, you'd think I did something really amazing.  It's baffling how something so simple, so basic can provide such entertainment to humans. Go figure.
See the blurred wrapper falling!


Sunday, May 28, 2017

And About That Chair

You may have noticed that interesting chair in some of my posts.  Though mom and dad love nestling together and miss the days when they had a sofa for such teenager-like snuggling, they bought this man-cave monstrosity a while ago and lugged it up to the apartment.
Plus size kitty occupying mom's side

     They got it for a steal from a student rental property clubhouse, and (after thoroughly sanitizing it, of course) enjoy reclining and watching movies with a cold beer, Diet Coke, dinner, or me.  It has two reclining positions and comes complete with cup holders, and though they enjoy lounging in it mom, especially, wishes it rocked as well.  Can't have everything, mom.
     That thing on the arm next to me is one of their solar lights.  They were given a pair a while ago and, being the simple-living type use them almost daily.
and ditto

     Mom keeps them on the window sill next to my perch during the day to charge and uses hers at night to read by.  Dad uses his for his ridiculously early morning reading sessions (during which I get most of my posting done).  
     Okay, enough about furniture.  This is, after all, supposed to be about me.

Sunday, May 21, 2017


First off, I don't have fleas or lice.  Mom bought a "normal" cat brush, but it didn't quite do the trick.  Actually, it seemed kinda useless.  

     This thing really does the trick, and it feels good, too.  With the warmer weather I shed a lot, as most of us do.  Mom and dad are always saying stupid things joking around about how they could build another one of me out of the fur they pull from my coat.  I'm up for another session today most likely, as they try to comb me at least once a week. 
I'm starting to really look forward to it.  Can you tell I'm enjoying this?  As I think I mentioned before dad went away mom got a little rough (unintentionally, I know) the first time she tried combing me, and she still has the scars (sorry, mom).  They think they're being smart.  They try to "distract" me by one or the other of them petting me, and scritching my head and nose (which I absolutely love). 
     The other will begin combing me, starting with my back and gently gliding the comb downward and raking out wads of my fur.  Apparently I also have litterbox issues wherein I fling the stuff around so violently I end up wearing it like a buried coat of dandruff. 
     Sure, I'm a little larger than average, and they bought the biggest domed box they could find, but I can't help it.  They're always making fun of me because I claw and scratch at the sides of the damned thing, trying to bury my peeballs and pooplogs.  Not sure why I do that.  But I'm getting off topic here.  Anyway, I'm loving the attention and the feel of the comb. 
Ahh, Feels Good...


Thursday, May 18, 2017

Pickles? What?! Wait a Minute...

Dad, you're an idiot. 
     What is this picture doing on here? 
      It's called variety.  
      Is that a fabulous Tortie?
     Does it have to be? 
     Does it meow?
     I can give anything a voice, as you know.   Does it provide you with excitement, love and entertainment?
     Come on, look who you're asking, as mom would say.  You know mom says I live for food. 
     Does it beg for a good back- or belly-stroking, then walk away, rubbing on every possible surface it encounters?
     Okay, you got me there. I just wanted to share one of mom's wonderful kitchen projects.  Do you mind?  Mom's pickles are the most awesome!  I mean, does it always have to be about YOU? 
 Yes.  As a matter of fact, it does.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Sunday, May 7, 2017

After and Before

     So this is what I had to deal with before the previously mentioned perch was constructed.  Though the stretching was good for me my legs didn't like supporting my pendulous paunch (can you guess who chooses the wording here?)for any longer than they had to.

Sure, I made do with what space I had.  All I cared about was getting a good view outside.  As you can see, my, umm, girth is a little much for the narrow sill (thanks dad), so I'm quite grateful for the extra space on my perch.  
     Although dad likes to poke fun at me for my size I will say that he and mom are, in fact concerned with my health, and are taking steps to get things under control.  
      He wanted me to throw that in here so you don't think he's not taking it seriously. 

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Perch # 2, Fit (almost) For A Queen

     As everyone knows most of us felines, especially those of us not allowed to go outside, enjoy our window views.  Since I've been here I've been trying to balance myself on their 3 to 4 inch bedroom window sill, not an easy task for a larger girl such as myself. 
     I was recently going through some of dad's old posts and found some pictures of the perch he made for Orbit.  Well, let me tell you- I was livid!
     "Dad,"  I yelled.  "WTF?"  I threw in, just for extra drama as I held him with the fiercest southern glare I could muster.  "He got that, and I have to risk my life balancing myself on this tiny little ledge?"  Boy, I was really laying into him, and by now he was quaking like a baby, eyes welling up with tears and looking around frantically for mom to protect him.
     "I-I- I'm sorry, milady," he stammered.  As he bowed in subservience I knew he'd had enough.  "Rise at once, and stop with the sniveling!"
     Okay, that never happened.  

     One day recently dad came home with this.  He called it a prototype, and wanted to see if I'd be happy with it.  Well, prototype or not, it remains.
  He made it so they can close the drapes without it sticking out, and when they open the drapes it folds out so I can sit on it and enjoy the outdoors.
Before the Carpeting
     For now I climb up on some stuff that's sitting on the floor below the window, and dad said some day if needed he'd build a set of steps or a ramp.  I suppose he's kind of useful, so I guess I'll keep him around for a while.

Not Quite Wide Enough, eh?


Saturday, April 22, 2017

Dad's Back and All's Good With Mom

     Well, mom and I are doing just fine.  The ol' man has had a whirlwind week at work since returning from Minnesota where he got to hang out with two of his boys and three of his grandsons.
     He finally got to meet his newest grandson who's not yet a year old, and all the boys had a ball running around, messing up their bedrooms, playing together and generally getting away with stuff that their mom probably would love to have yelled about but grandpa was able to walk away from and fly back home.

     I've been on my best behavior so mom's talking to me again, and she and I have been sitting together more than ever before.  
      Not sure how I managed to keep my heft balanced here (dad's words, not mine) but I'm enjoying a one-on-one moment with mom.
  Oh, and by the way-  Happy Earth Day to all!  Get out there and do your part, and remember Mahatma Gandhi's words- Live simply so that others may simply live.   

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Dear Mom, I'm Sorry

I know you're still mad at me and you haven't been talking to me or playing with me for three days now but I want you to know that clawing your hand was only my way of saying "Enough!"
     I know you were only trimming my nails, brushing me and trying to help get the litter out of my fur- even I don't know why I fling the stuff around the way I do in that damn box- when you got to my tail area.  If I could talk I would've said "Okay mom, that's close enough.  If you don't stop I'm gonna get mad."
     I'm sorry I hurt you, but please know I didn't mean to.  I miss you playing with me.  I miss your lap.  I miss the thrill of watching you think you're getting me to exercise and move around by making me chase that ball-on-a-string thingy.

     Dad's leaving for Minnesota to see the kids and grand-kids tomorrow and he'll be gone for a few days, and it'll be awfully quiet and sad around here while he's gone if you don't forgive me.  I was looking forward to some girl time, you know, just me and you.  
     I'm real sorry, and I hope those marks heal quickly.  I was only trying to tell you I didn't like what you were doing. I suppose we can blame dad since he gets a little rough with me sometimes and doesn't know when to lighten up with the patting, back scratching and belly rubbing.  Can we say it's his fault and just be mad at him while he's gone?

     I miss the mom who likes me on her lap, who plays with me and talks to me, and who doesn't mind feeding me and cleaning up after me.  Can you forgive me?
     We're still getting to know each other, learn what we like and don't like and know what works and what doesn't.  But I know this- I've already been spoiled beyond belief since I've been with you guys.  I mean it.  I love you, mom, and I hope you'll forgive me soon.  



Saturday, April 8, 2017

Not About Me So I Don't Care

As threatened promised, dad wanted to include in this blog (my blog, might I remind you) some things that have nothing to do with me.
     Okay, so here's one.  Mom and dad were out exploring nearby Hillsborough, and they came upon the former Colonial Inn.  The dilapidated old building is boarded up and needs lots of work, but dad likes the creepy look of the place.  He started playing with some of the filters on his phone and created this one, which he says ups the creepy.

     He's got this harebrained idea for a story based on this photo, but I'm pretty sure it won't have anything to do with me so I don't much care to give it any more space here. 

    Well, that concludes this boring contribution to my blog.  Thanks for interfering sharing, dad. Now can we please get back to me?

Saturday, April 1, 2017

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Dad keeps trying to pick me up and carry me around.  I'm still trying to figure out whether or not I like it.  Does it look like I'm having a good time?  Add your own caption to this one...

Sunday, March 26, 2017

What, Me Comfortable?

I know I haven't been here all that long, but I think I've come to the conclusion that I've made my place here and I'm starting to really feel at home with mom and dad.
     I'm still trying to get used to being picked up and held, something Orbit apparently enjoyed, and I'm kinda getting tired of dad's a**hole remarks about it being because of my weight.
     Hey now, you know I'm just teasing you Cleo, right?
     How 'bout I tease you about your pointy nose?  Or maybe the tire around your middle you can't seem to get rid of? 
     Now you're just being mean.
     How 'bout your hairy back?  Maybe we examine those toes of yours?
     Ouch. Okay, fair enough.
     It's a game for two, mister. 
     Anyway, the original intent of this post was to show how comfortable I am now.  Here are some of my favorite positions.  What do you think?



Saturday, March 18, 2017

More About Me

Something about this closet...
     So I spent the first hour or so on my first night here wandering and checking everything out, as we're known to do.     Everything's got to be sniffed and rubbed on, and I have to check out every square inch to make sure it's all to my liking.  The bedroom closet is especially interesting.  There's an old disconnected thru-the-wall air conditioning unit that birds have gotten into over the years, and I can smell them once that closet door is opened.
     I've even tried to pull open a few cabinet doors, but have so far managed to avoid getting my picture taken.  
I especially like climbing on that box back in the corner, and they laugh at me when the top sinks in.  Not sure what they find so funny...
       One of their priorities was to get me in for a checkup.  This is me making myself at home on the counter top while waiting to get poked and prodded. 
All in all it wasn't too bad, since I've been through this a time or two over my 13 years.

  I'm getting pretty comfortable now, and although it's been a few weeks I can still find things new and fascinating.  They seem to think I'm getting used to them already, even though I'm still a little jumpy at times.  Dad had to throw in this last one, which was taken on my first night here.  Think I look relaxed?
Love the split-color "smile"
    Dad note:  Someone was especially annoying very early this morning.  She has a habit of walking across our pillows, and this morning she just had to try repeatedly to get up onto the headboard, waking mom in the process, who doesn't usually do too well with waking up as early as I do.  When we came out of the bedroom little miss princess wouldn't sit with us or chill out, and just wanted to chatter.  Non-morning-person mom went back to bed, and I'm hoping to hear snores soon.  Meanwhile, her higness's head is currently blocking my view as I try to type this...