Friday, August 18, 2017

News, Excuses and Boxes

       So with everything that's going on in the news these days it's gotten harder to keep the time set aside for things like posting here.  I've been instructed to write this so someone has an excuse for not posting anything for a bit.  Dad's usual reading & writing time has been reduced to a fraction of what it used to be because it's so easy to get caught up in the headlines.
     Sure, he still finishes novels he and mom get from the library, but now a good chunk of his morning reading time is spent on the headlines, and before he knows it his morning's shot and it's time to get ready for work.
     He pours his coffee, grabs the laptop and his phone, and immediately gets sucked into the news and self-set notifications on his damn phone.
     My lap time with dad, when I choose to bless him with my presence, has taken a back seat, mostly because there just isn't enough room for the laptop and my... bulk (had to put that in there, huh dad?)
     Will things ever calm down?  Will all the horrible, unbelievable, questionable ridiculous things we're seeing and hearing every day now ever subside? It's easy to get worked up about all the bullsh*t right now, so I'll leave it at that. 

     Anyway, as much as I'm a mature lady I still have a fun, curious, playful side.  Like many of my ilk I like boxes. 
I love it when dad brings home boxes.  Often, mom needs boxes for packing gifts for the grandkids, putting away seasonal clothes and whatnot, and the minute dad sets the boxes down I can't resist hopping in (yes, I can actually hop.  You should see me jump from chair to chair!).

          Boxes fascinate me.  I sniff every corner, every flap, rub my face on them, and jump right in, where I sit for, oh, about a minute.
     And then I'm no longer interested.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Lap Time!

     I'm not sure what it is, but since mom and dad returned from camping it seems I've been wanting to spend a lot more time on their laps.
     Mom's lap has been a somewhat regular favorite place for the most part, and dad's has been growing on me (depending on what he's wearing).  As I mentioned previously shorts and bare legs haven't been my thing, but yesterday I was in heaven.
     The high temperature was "only" around 80, and mom actually brought out the fleece blanket that's usually reserved for the cooler weather.

     Being from up north mom and dad, since living down here, have always shaken their heads at the southerners surrounding us with their air conditioners seemingly running nonstop from March to November.
     Yesterday was a departure from the 90's we've been having lately, and they had all the windows open, fresh breezes flowing through the whole apartment all day.
     Ordinarily it's not unusual, even with warmer temperatures, for mom to throw on her sweatshirt while dad is sitting next to her sweating his butt off, but yesterday even he got a little chilled.  
      They loved the fresh air and didn't want to shut the windows, so mom shared the fleece with dad, and once I saw that I couldn't get enough lap time.
     I can't wait until the real cool weather comes.  I know where I'll be spending most of my time!


Saturday, July 22, 2017

Back to Normal

Well, they're back.  Yeah, obviously it's taking dad some time to get back on here with me. My quiet time is gone.
     Remember "All By Myself",that awesome Eric Carmen pop hit from 1975?  You remember it, right?  Right?  Are we aging ourselves here?  Mom likes teasing dad with that song in her beautiful special off-key way whenever she thinks he's not paying attention to her.  
     Dad says he used to have the 45.  I'll bet some of you don't even know what that is.  Anyway, I'm getting off track here.  Mom and dad returned from their camping vacation at Carolina Beach State Park refreshed but tired, relaxed but antsy and wishing they were still out there.
Campground Sunset

     I think they got the beach bug in them.  All I've heard since they returned is how they hadn't realized how much they loved being so close to the beach before dad grew restless with his job a couple of times over these past few years, which took them from Wilmington to Greenville, SC to Chapel Hill. 
     The day they rolled into Wilmington they were surrounded by thunderstorms and heavy downpours, but they didn't care.  They were on vacation.  They pulled into a parking garage and wandered around downtown and the riverfront, getting thoroughly soaked.  
     Hungry and wishing to avoid the rain when they realized their umbrella (mom did suggest using two of them dad, you dumb-ass) (mom's sentiment) wasn't quite cutting it against the pelting rain they found their way to The Copper Penny, one of their favorite places.  They sat out the rain with a delicious lunch and a couple of frosty glasses of beer, and reminisced about the time they spent living here a few years back.
Wilmington Riverfront on Day One

     The rain eventually let up, and after walking off some of the beer lunch and popping in for a couple of Kilwins ice cream cones made their way to the state park, where they set up camp and planted themselves for the next 4 days.
Keeping it (somewhat) Healthy at Breakfast

     The Wilmington area forecast up until they actually left Chapel Hill had been calling for rain and storms pretty much every day, but they ended up with the most perfect beach weather all week, and spent every day at Fort Fisher Beach.
Mom Hamming it Up at the Brewery

     Good Hops Brewery, within walking distance from the campground had just opened up before mom and dad moved away from Wilmington and they never got the chance to check it out back then.  One day after lounging at the beach they walked over for a couple of brews, and, well, just check out the picture.
     It's a cool little place far enough away from the hustle and bustle of Carolina Beach and, being mid-week wasn't too busy.  As you can see the bar held a mixed crowd of "folks", all very friendly and laid back.
Umm, No, You're Not Seeing Things

     Other than spending all week at the beach mom and dad relaxed at camp, enjoying cooking over the fire every night, dad not bitching about happily getting used to having to start a fire each morning and waiting for the coffee percolator to finish bubbling his lifeblood to his desired strength.
The Old Man Tending the Fire

     The camping was peaceful and quiet, with the exception of the obnoxious mansion on wheels with the garage-sized gas generator rumbling sunrise to sunset.  You'd think the tent sites would be separate from the ones where people feel the need to bring their entire home with them.  
     Okay dad, you got that bitching out of the way.  Happy? 
What it's All About

     Anyway, they're back.  Dad was in heaven barefoot, shorted and shirtless nearly all week. 
     Dad's co-worker took awesome care of me while they were away, stopping in each morning to top off my dishes and scoop my poop. 
     Dad's back at work ("grrr....," he says), mom's got everything washed, packed away and cleaned up 'til next time (I'm thinking "next time" is gonna come sooner than later since they had such a ball and miss the beach so much), and everything's back to normal.  Plus this post is getting way too long and I don't want to lose any of you.

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Some Time to Myself and Big Steps in Getting Comfortable

It's confirmed.  Mom and dad are going away and leaving me all alone.  They had dad's co-worker stop by the other day to meet me and discuss my nutritional needs and what to do with my, umm, peeballs and pooplogs.
     Yeah, I've got to hand it to this guy, being willing to scoop my stuff and dispose of it out of the goodness of his heart.  He told mom and dad he's always loved cats, and if his wife wasn't allergic they'd have one of their own.
     So anyway, they're heading back east to camp for the week at Carolina Beach State Park.  You should see our place- mom's got stacks and piles of clothes, bedding, food and equipment all over.  Ever the organizer, she's been spending weeks planning everything, and they'll be loading the car tonight or tomorrow morning and heading out.
     I'd say I'll throw a party while they're away, but they're not too keen on anyone being here when they're not.  They'll be back before next weekend, and I'm sure I'll enjoy the peace and quiet.
     They've been struggling to get me to sit on their laps in their big special chair, especially when they're wearing shorts of any kind.  I only recently started to sit on mom's lap, and I try to keep the bulk (shut up, dad) of my body on the fabric of her shorts.  As for dad, well, I usually don't sit on his shorted lap, especially when he wears his sexy blue shiny slippery lounge shorts (yeah, he made me type that).
     Well, I don't know if it's because I'll miss them or what, but here's what transpired just the other night.  They were watching a movie, and I got up on the arm of the chair between them, and then stepped down onto his sexy blue shiny slippery lounge shorts (okay dad, just stop).  I settled myself right down across his lap and just enjoyed sprawling out in surprising comfort for the duration of the movie, even dozing a little.
How 'bout them hairy old man legs!
 This shot kinda gives you a good idea of my incredibly lovable size (nice try, dad), and an up-close eyeful of them damn sexy blue shiny slippery lounge shorts (once again, not me).
     What you don't see is his cleverly cropped out rubbery, sagging, deflated spare-tire-around-the-middle he hasn't been able to make disappear since losing a bunch of weight (gotcha, funny guy!)

Saturday, July 1, 2017


     Though an older gal, Cleo now and then lets her playful side show.  We're trying to get her to be a little more active in hopes that she'll slim down to a healthier weight, and she does occasionally surprise us with bursts of energy and lightning quick swats and grabs at some of her toys.
     She's got an assortment of colorful balls, some catnip mice and a few other things, but her favorite plaything is string.  That's it.  String.  Catnip, though at first gets her going, seems to bore her after a minute or so.
     She loves chasing string, and we'll run around the apartment, trailing a 5 foot long piece and laughing as she trots and scuttles after it.  And then she plops down.  Sure, she'll swat and swipe at it if we're standing close enough, and once in a while she'll get up and come after it again, but I think we get more exercise out of it than she does.
     She's also shown this interesting behavior where she talks and chatters at us, much the way she does when she's hungry, and leads us to her toy collection on her favorite mat.
     She sits in front of her toys just looking at them, and when I start to pat her behind and scratch above her tail she begins to play with her things, sometimes going crazy rolling around and chomping heartily on her catnip mice.
     Now, I've seen some of the videos and read a handful of articles about the whole cat spanking thing (there's an eye-opening amount of it out there), and it's certainly an interesting trait. 
     Orbit used to enjoy a hefty patting above his tail.  My old pal Isaac loved a hearty smacking. 

     I'd hoped to have a handful of action shots to add to this post, but the ones I've got so far don't show much of Cleo's playful side.  They do, however, show how our play sessions most often end up.  The dear old girl seems to bore easily.  We'll try some other things as time goes by, but for now we'll make do with her shredded piece of string.



Saturday, June 24, 2017

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Some Alone Time Coming Up and Father's Day Greetings

Sounds like mom and dad have been making plans for a getaway coming up real soon.  I've heard them talking about Fort Fisher Beach and camping at Carolina Beach State Park. 
     They've also been coming home with sleeping bags, a tent, and some other stuff I think they're gonna bring with them.
     I've overheard dad talking about a co-worker coming to meet me who's gonna be taking care of my needs while they're away as well.  We'll see how THAT goes... 
     Anyway, I got to spend some early morning time next to dad on the bed while he was on the computer one morning.  I generally don't settle in because I usually just want attention and usually have a hard time sitting still, but this one morning I simply felt like relaxing next to the most awesome dad any gal could ever have (and I bet you can't tell which of us typed that).
     Which reminds me-  Happy Father's Day to all you most awesome dads out there.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Sunday Selfie First Timer

Well, I decided to go against my own grain and join this Sunday Selfie thing.  Here's my offering for this awesome, warm, still dark out quiet Sunday morning. Dad was playing with the filter thingies on his phone again like a toddler preoccupied with a cool new toy.  Happy Sunday y'all.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Even Old Gals Need a Little Playtime

Though an older gal I do, from time to time, enjoy some fun activity (even though mom and dad say I'm kinda lazy).  Being plus sized and beyond my spring chicken years I mostly like to lounge, but every now and then I get a spark of energy and try to show mom and dad that I am, in fact, still alive.
Sure, they've provided me with a selection of balls and feathers and even a catnip thingy, but I gotta say- my favorite plaything is... wait for it...
string.  Yup, that's it.  Good old string.  Go figure. Who knew something so simple, so basic could provide such entertainment. 

     They've tied a couple of lengths of twine together and it gets me going when they swing it back and forth in front of me, dangle it over my head and trail it over my back.
Good gosh I don't know what it is, but when I see that thing slithering along the carpet I can't ignore it, though I try.  I swat it, bat at it, grab it in my claws and chew on it. And then I'm done.
And don't get me started on mom's flip flops...
I'll lose interest almost as quickly as I attack it.  Until next time.  They always make fun of me because, though I start out chasing it I most often plop my big 'ole fanny down and kinda slide along the floor, pushing my heft (can you tell dad's typing this?) along the floor with my legs.  I'll stretch out full length to get at it before I'll actually get up to go after it.

     So the other night we were all three of us sitting in that awesome non-man-cave theater chair watching a movie. 
Mom likes her gum, and she'd dropped a wrapper in one of the cup holders.  Well, being of the curious sort I couldn't help but investigate, and fished around in the cup holder and wouldn't you know, hooked that damned thing right out with my claw!

     My, how those two laughed and clapped.  Good Lord, you'd think I did something really amazing.  It's baffling how something so simple, so basic can provide such entertainment to humans. Go figure.
See the blurred wrapper falling!


Sunday, May 28, 2017

And About That Chair

You may have noticed that interesting chair in some of my posts.  Though mom and dad love nestling together and miss the days when they had a sofa for such teenager-like snuggling, they bought this man-cave monstrosity a while ago and lugged it up to the apartment.
Plus size kitty occupying mom's side

     They got it for a steal from a student rental property clubhouse, and (after thoroughly sanitizing it, of course) enjoy reclining and watching movies with a cold beer, Diet Coke, dinner, or me.  It has two reclining positions and comes complete with cup holders, and though they enjoy lounging in it mom, especially, wishes it rocked as well.  Can't have everything, mom.
     That thing on the arm next to me is one of their solar lights.  They were given a pair a while ago and, being the simple-living type use them almost daily.
and ditto

     Mom keeps them on the window sill next to my perch during the day to charge and uses hers at night to read by.  Dad uses his for his ridiculously early morning reading sessions (during which I get most of my posting done).  
     Okay, enough about furniture.  This is, after all, supposed to be about me.

Sunday, May 21, 2017


First off, I don't have fleas or lice.  Mom bought a "normal" cat brush, but it didn't quite do the trick.  Actually, it seemed kinda useless.  

     This thing really does the trick, and it feels good, too.  With the warmer weather I shed a lot, as most of us do.  Mom and dad are always saying stupid things joking around about how they could build another one of me out of the fur they pull from my coat.  I'm up for another session today most likely, as they try to comb me at least once a week. 
I'm starting to really look forward to it.  Can you tell I'm enjoying this?  As I think I mentioned before dad went away mom got a little rough (unintentionally, I know) the first time she tried combing me, and she still has the scars (sorry, mom).  They think they're being smart.  They try to "distract" me by one or the other of them petting me, and scritching my head and nose (which I absolutely love). 
     The other will begin combing me, starting with my back and gently gliding the comb downward and raking out wads of my fur.  Apparently I also have litterbox issues wherein I fling the stuff around so violently I end up wearing it like a buried coat of dandruff. 
     Sure, I'm a little larger than average, and they bought the biggest domed box they could find, but I can't help it.  They're always making fun of me because I claw and scratch at the sides of the damned thing, trying to bury my peeballs and pooplogs.  Not sure why I do that.  But I'm getting off topic here.  Anyway, I'm loving the attention and the feel of the comb. 
Ahh, Feels Good...


Thursday, May 18, 2017

Pickles? What?! Wait a Minute...

Dad, you're an idiot. 
     What is this picture doing on here? 
      It's called variety.  
      Is that a fabulous Tortie?
     Does it have to be? 
     Does it meow?
     I can give anything a voice, as you know.   Does it provide you with excitement, love and entertainment?
     Come on, look who you're asking, as mom would say.  You know mom says I live for food. 
     Does it beg for a good back- or belly-stroking, then walk away, rubbing on every possible surface it encounters?
     Okay, you got me there. I just wanted to share one of mom's wonderful kitchen projects.  Do you mind?  Mom's pickles are the most awesome!  I mean, does it always have to be about YOU? 
 Yes.  As a matter of fact, it does.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Sunday, May 7, 2017

After and Before

     So this is what I had to deal with before the previously mentioned perch was constructed.  Though the stretching was good for me my legs didn't like supporting my pendulous paunch (can you guess who chooses the wording here?)for any longer than they had to.

Sure, I made do with what space I had.  All I cared about was getting a good view outside.  As you can see, my, umm, girth is a little much for the narrow sill (thanks dad), so I'm quite grateful for the extra space on my perch.  
     Although dad likes to poke fun at me for my size I will say that he and mom are, in fact concerned with my health, and are taking steps to get things under control.  
      He wanted me to throw that in here so you don't think he's not taking it seriously. 

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Perch # 2, Fit (almost) For A Queen

     As everyone knows most of us felines, especially those of us not allowed to go outside, enjoy our window views.  Since I've been here I've been trying to balance myself on their 3 to 4 inch bedroom window sill, not an easy task for a larger girl such as myself. 
     I was recently going through some of dad's old posts and found some pictures of the perch he made for Orbit.  Well, let me tell you- I was livid!
     "Dad,"  I yelled.  "WTF?"  I threw in, just for extra drama as I held him with the fiercest southern glare I could muster.  "He got that, and I have to risk my life balancing myself on this tiny little ledge?"  Boy, I was really laying into him, and by now he was quaking like a baby, eyes welling up with tears and looking around frantically for mom to protect him.
     "I-I- I'm sorry, milady," he stammered.  As he bowed in subservience I knew he'd had enough.  "Rise at once, and stop with the sniveling!"
     Okay, that never happened.  

     One day recently dad came home with this.  He called it a prototype, and wanted to see if I'd be happy with it.  Well, prototype or not, it remains.
  He made it so they can close the drapes without it sticking out, and when they open the drapes it folds out so I can sit on it and enjoy the outdoors.
Before the Carpeting
     For now I climb up on some stuff that's sitting on the floor below the window, and dad said some day if needed he'd build a set of steps or a ramp.  I suppose he's kind of useful, so I guess I'll keep him around for a while.

Not Quite Wide Enough, eh?


Saturday, April 22, 2017

Dad's Back and All's Good With Mom

     Well, mom and I are doing just fine.  The ol' man has had a whirlwind week at work since returning from Minnesota where he got to hang out with two of his boys and three of his grandsons.
     He finally got to meet his newest grandson who's not yet a year old, and all the boys had a ball running around, messing up their bedrooms, playing together and generally getting away with stuff that their mom probably would love to have yelled about but grandpa was able to walk away from and fly back home.

     I've been on my best behavior so mom's talking to me again, and she and I have been sitting together more than ever before.  
      Not sure how I managed to keep my heft balanced here (dad's words, not mine) but I'm enjoying a one-on-one moment with mom.
  Oh, and by the way-  Happy Earth Day to all!  Get out there and do your part, and remember Mahatma Gandhi's words- Live simply so that others may simply live.