Saturday, December 13, 2014

Always in Our Hearts and Minds, and Impossible to Let Go

I have to go back to work today for the first time since Orbit passed away.  Today will be the first day my wife will be home alone- truly alone.
     She reminded me this morning that every time I've been away- at work, traveling to see the grandchildren, work conferences- Orbit was always here to keep her company.  Our apartment is very small, but Orbit filled the place with, well, Orbit.
     There are still reminders everywhere.  I don't know which is worse, keeping those reminders around, or removing everything  in an attempt to ease the pain of missing him.
     We are overwhelmed with the number of kind words, purrs and prayers and sweet remembrances we've received for Orbit.
     I'm not quite ready to retire Orbit's blog.  I've had a few posts queued up, and want to share just a few more things, and I know he'd want me to. I can't keep it going forever without his input and direction, so I realize it's only a matter of time.
     I will try my hardest not to beat this into the ground.
     We miss him more than we'll ever be able to express.  It's crazy how much of an impact such a small creature can have on two very sad people.
     
     

21 comments:

Punapippuri said...

It's not crazy at all; it's called love. We know your hearts are breaking and the change of routine things are just too hard to bear but we all know we have to go through them and then the routines themselves become new ones. Very very empty ones for a while. I have been thinking of you, and that emptiness. Even though I have many cats here, the one who filled my life passed this year and the place still isn't right.
But there is life after Orbit, because as you say, he would want that.
With love, Karin

Brian said...

We do totally understand and have been there too. Eventually your hearts will smile with the many happy memories, it just seems to take so darn long. Hugs from all of us.

Marg said...

I truly understand too how very hard it is when our fur friends leave us. It is such an empty space. We sure send some mighty big hugs and purrs. It does take a long time too but just try to remember the good times and we hope you will keep his blog going for a while.

Fur Everywhere said...

Having gone through this only a few months ago with Jewel, I can relate to how heartbreaking this is. :( Maybe in time you will want to take another kitty into your home and you can start his/her own blog. I'd hate to see you disappear from the blogging world. Take your time and grieve as much as you need. Kitties impact our lives so deeply.

I am so very sorry that this has happened. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. ::hugs:: and purrs <3

Kitties Blue said...

Our fur babies are as much a part of our families as any human child (which we did not have). They are loved deeply and must be mourned. Only you can decide what is best for you when it comes to keeping Orbit's things. Maybe it would give you some comfort to donate some of his things to a shelter, especially as it is near Christmas. Sending purrs and prayers as you grieve. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

ANGEL ABBYGRACE said...

You are not 'beating anything into the ground'. Grief is normal and when you love anything for as long and as much as you loved Orbit it will certainly take you and your wife quite some time to find your new normal. I know you have found on your own that whether you keep or whether you remove the things that remind you Orbit you will be reminded of him. I hope you do continue on with his blog, many times people do Angel posts. Their voices are still alive even though I lost Abby 16 months ago I still use her name as my identifier and I still blog as her, and I always will. Keeping you in my prayers.

da tabbies o trout towne said...

guys...its seldom we post comments on the weekends but had to let you know you are not alone as we all understand how you both feel. death may rob us of the physical presence but will never take away the heart, soul,
and memories we have of our loved ones. orbit is was and always will be such. when dude died, I took everything and put it away, within a week it was back out and in place as if he had never left. why...bcause cats have and always will be a part of my life, it was just a matter of WHEN another would be in my home. I guess for me, just seeing a litter box, food dish, or bed helped my grieving process ...there are no rules regulations or time constraints on how each of us deal with our emotions when a loved one dies. if you want orbits stuff put up, left out, or a little of each, its your decision and yours alone and dont let anyone tell you differently. the same can be said for his blog. if you want it left up and running, we think orbit would be honored. I had someone ask me when dude died why I left his image on the trout towne page; this person happened to be a family member. my response was because dude, as well as sauce, were, are and always will be a part of trout towne as are family and they mean more to me than most family members and 98% of the people Ive had the dispeasure of meeting in my lifetime. I keep their images alive as a small token of saying....thanx...for the happiness, joy and yes tears top, they gave me while they were here. never speaking of them or showing a photo or sharing a memory is the same as saying they never existed in the first place. personally I think orbit would be proud to see his old fart antics continued; sure it doesnt need to be constant, his posts never were, and just maybe, some day, the old farts grandkids will wanna have their say, and it will be all about peeballs and pooplogs, part deux. sorry for rambling, sorry for any spelling errors you might run across as Im on a mobile and cant see what Ive already typed......and feel free to say how much he is loved and missed.....coz he misses and loves mom and dad too.....

Summer said...

I think all of us know how difficult this is, and how a small cat can leave such a big hole in a human's life. Purrs to you - we've all been there, some of us more recently than others.

Quinn and Angel brandi said...

Sometimes visiting a shelter helps. But watch out. That is exactly how brandi became the original Catitude cat!
Love is always in our hearts. Memories cannot be taken away from us, because they are part of that love.
Or something like that.

Oui Oui said...

Having been through the loss of several kitties, I understand your feelings. I've always thought the best way to fill the void is with another kitty. It won't be the same, and it shouldn't be, each cat and relationship is unique. But the need is so great on both sides (that aching hole and so many kitties in need of a home), it seems like the best thing to do, for me at least and so I mention it to you. A new cat can bring so much love and joy! Wishing you the best and peace in your hearts.

Katnip Lounge said...

I think you will find your own way, personally I like to imagine (when I'm really missing a fur-angel) that they are napping, just a room away...

I truly hope you keep Orbit's blog up as a memorial, and who knows, fate may gift you and your wife with another literary feline down the road. Life is funny like that.

Be good to yourselves, death is a very hard thing.

The Island Cats said...

It's never easy losing a furbaby. Most of us have been there. And each of us deals with the loss a little differently. You should post stories, pictures, etc. if that helps you. And I hope one day you'll open your heart for another kitty.

Take care.
Island Cat Mom

Eastside Cats said...

When Sammy was struggling to eat, I moved his shelter to a corner, and placed a special cover over his bowl to keep out the weather. After he passed, I left everything but the bowl. Then I moved the cover, and then the shelter went into the garage. I wanted to save that shelter, for no other reason then it was Sammy's. Almost six months later, a friend mentioned that a friendly feral didn't have any place (that he knew of) to sleep, so I gave him Sammy's. Just let your grief evolve organically; you'll do what you need to do with Orbit's toys and such. Someday, you'll remember the good stuff more than the painful stuff, and you'll do it on your own pace. Sending you both hugs, and the hope that you'll stay with the blog, in whatever form it takes. Again, it's what you need and feel like you should be doing. Orbit was a fine old cat, and I've enjoyed this blog for awhile. Thank you for that.

The Indulged Furries said...

It's so hard losing a family member and that's what all of us believe our pets to be - family members. It can be difficult to figure out how to fill the gap from someone not being in your home, or what to do with all the time you have that used to be dedicated to your pet. I hope sharing more posts about Orbit helps you through this difficult time.

Georgia and Julie said...

We totally understand.
It is a little over a year that our Tillie passed and we still miss her.
Once they get a hold of your heart, they're there forever!
Hugs and headbumps, nancy and the kitties

Harvey Button said...

How can I write more or better than the wise words written here. All I can say is our hearts all break, but they ease over time. You were lucky to have such a wonderful cat in Orbit, and we all know both we and they will live forever - don't we?

Sierra is right - while the blog may go quiet after Orbit has his say - and he wants the stuff you have lined up posted - don't go away. Who knows what might happen, and you need this precious avenue to walk down once again.

I still cry every day for my boy Dash and he died 6th September 2013. But I know he was sent for a reason - one day I will discover what it is.

Hang in there, there is much support for you here.

Marjorie and the cats at DashKitten

haopee said...

We don't know you that much, but we know how hard it is to lose a part of the family.

We pray your hearts are mending. Sending our 40 paws of love and support your way.

Lovable Lily said...

Sending love and healing hugs from Florida.

Hugs,
Lily Belle & Muffin

Jans Funny Farm said...

Yes, it doesn't matter which choice you make, it will hurt. It's always been hard to be one bowl short at feeding time. He will always live in your heart and memory. Hugs, purrs and paw taps.

William said...

I found some solace in this song after Russell left, although it still can make me cry. She says what we need to hear, no matter how sad. I hope it helps.

http://music.cbc.ca/#!/play/artist/Jill-Barber/Ashes-to-Ashes

We're all thinking of you.

Anonymous said...


We all do know what your pain is like and how hard it is to go on without our loved one. Please feel the great love you are surrounded by as your friends come along side of you to help you grieve and heal - in time.

I hope you will keep the blog going for as long as it is in anyway helpful to you. I know it is meaningful to other, too.

Love,
Lily