Ahh, the sounds, the sights, the smells- I really love Christmas.
The joyous music, the overall upbeat mood, the smiles and friendly greetings all around, especially at any of the fine, bloated retail establishments sprinkled throughout this great land of ours.
I only wish for one thing this year. I wish Walmart, Target and Best Buy (I'm sure you could toss in several others) would offer, as part of this fine festive holiday shopping season free lessons in parking, driving, pedestrian's rights of way, and manners to all who enter their parking lots.
Once inside everyone should be required to take a test before shopping to prove that they've learned something from said lessons, and if they do not receive a passing grade they should be forced to stand at the back of any of the mile-long checkout lines at the four open registers only to come to the realization upon approaching the smiling associate with the what the f*ck do you want facial expression that they've forgotten to actually make their purchases.
They would then be forced to blend back in with the violent, buzzing multitude to complete their tasks and return to the previous step.
Okay, I'm done. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!