Okay, this is just mean. I know dad can be cruel (just ask any of his siblings. Or mom sometimes), but come on, dad. Really?
I mean, what are you trying to say, hmm? I get the jokes about my heft and girth. I ignore all the well-meant-though-offensive-nonetheless nicknames. I'm trying to get used to my special diet. But really?
"Ha ha ha," he chortles. "Let's put a ruler on the sleeping kitty," he says. "Aren't I the funny one," he says to himself. "Let's make fun of her size," he says under mom's stern glare.
Laugh all you want, big guy. You're hilarious with your measuring stick. Remember, I've seen you naked...