Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Dad Rant Follow-Up

     Well, now I feel really bad.  Our downstairs neighbor, the subject of my Dad Rant of a few posts earlier, passed away in his apartment.
     Over the course of a few days a couple of weeks ago we'd noticed that the volume of his music hadn't changed at all, booming at the same level day and night.  We'd also noted that his outside front light was on continuously and his mailbox remained overstuffed.
     On the same day I'd asked the management office about doing a wellness check my wife had taken it upon herself to knock on his door.  Even though we'd gotten off to an odd start he did seem, though unique, like a decent guy. Like us, he pretty much kept to himself, and he did take great care of our building's adopted feral as if she was his own.
     He hadn't answered my wife's knocks, and she called me, concerned.  I let her know that the police were called and would be doing a wellness check, and she went on her way doing errands that morning.
     On returning she found our building swarmed with police and emergency vehicles and called me immediately, demanding to know what I'm sure she'd already feared.  His death was, apparently accidental.  He'd been gone only a day or two.
     To this day my wife thinks we could've done something more, would've been able to help him in some way had we tried earlier to check on him.
     I've tried to assure her repeatedly that we did what we thought best, given the awkward way we started out as neighbors.  
     The music volume thing was nothing unusual, and we didn't want to come across as being nosy or intrusive by "checking on" him any sooner than we did.  We'd heard him moving about only two or so days earlier. I know deep down my wife doesn't accept this, and it still bothers her.
     
     

10 comments:

Punapippuri said...

What a sad situation. But what more could you have done ? You did all you could, and you were the guys who led to him being found. Many would have just ignored it. I hope your wife can see that in time but this sort of shock clouds realistic thinking. The guy passed peacefully (himself I mean, not the music), it seems, and that's a blessing.

Eastside Cats said...

Wow! I can imagine how you two feel. He certainly lived his life the way he wanted to, and it ended that way. I wish you both emotional peace with that fact.

Brian said...

Don't beat yourself up. You couldn't have known, nor should you.

da tabbies o trout towne said...

guys...had you KNOWN or even thought something was wrong, you would have done the same thing...contacted help right away....

this wasn't intentional on your part as everything seemed the norm with the neighbor.

when it appeared all was not well, you reached out; and sought help...many in this day and age wouldn't...

if he worked, they should have had concern; as well as family members//close friends

I had a similar situation with a neighbor in an apt complex; yes it's shocking, yes it's upsetting, yes we do ask....what if......

and without getting all philosophical here; if God said....today's "the day"....

wasn't anything you guys, or anyone... could have done...even though it still sucks all the same

Summer said...

How sad, but there's nothing more you could have done. Honest.

Goldie Goodwin said...

Sometimes things happen and we question if we could have make a difference. And yes, we can make a difference when it's His plan for us to do that. I believe that when it's our time, God makes sure we go. It was your neighbors time, his work on earth was done. Obviously for the rest of us, we have more work to do...

Random Felines said...

we are very sorry.... like others have said, not sure there is much you could have done besides what you did

William said...

I think that you two thought to check on him at all is a remarkable and kind thing. So many others would not have done even that.

Georgia and Julie said...

We agree with William.
You did check and ask for a wellness check. Try not to feel upset about what happened.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
Doubt you could have known before.
Purrs and hugs for having to deal with all of this.
Purrs Georgia and Julie,
Treasure and JJ

The Indulged Furries said...

On the not so supportive side.... even annoying people die. But as you said, he did have nice qualities like taking care of the feral cat and we never wish harm on anyone who's just not to our liking. It's too bad that the whole neighbor situation unfolded as it did but you acted appropriately when the time came and that's all anyone can do.